Monday, March 15, 2010

Mom And Alzheimers

Dad passed away in 2000 and Mom's partner of 50 years was suddenly gone. She was amazing, taking over the decisions on the farm and household, asking questions, seeking advise to make informed choices. Slowly it became apparent there were difficulties in remembering small things, we blamed the stress and her sense of loss. Shoot, Mom always lost things, forgot peoples names or any other of a growing list of concerns. We denied the problem.


I would usually call Mom each day, often the phone would ring busy. After repeated attempts, I would drive out to the farm to check on her. She would always be OK, she just forgot to hang up the phone. She would berate herself, saying, "what is wrong with me?" Increasingly, she got angry and hit herself in the head with her fist. I would calm her down, often with humor and she would relax. Each episode took something from her spirit, a loss of confidence, it added fear and increased her level of stress. We still looked away.


A serious car accident made it apparent we needed to look at possible medical problems. Mom simply drove through an intersection, saying she did not remember anything. We saw a neurologist and Mom was diagnosed with moderate to advanced Alzheimer's disease. My sisters and I went into research mode, conferencing the Alzheimer's Association, asking the tough questions of doctors and professionals and then putting plans into effect to protect Mom from her environment and herself. Every visit, every appointment included Mom in the process. She did not always remember what we were doing, but we did not hide a conversation or decision.

Alzheimer is a cruel disease, there is no cure, and very little medical help to forestall the impending disaster. Alzheimer is a silent killer, slowly robbing the ability to think, and communicate. Every day with recognition and minimal confusion is a very good day indeed.

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