Dissociative Identity Disorder Never Sleeps

Suzie has 20 or more Parts, we think and hope the majority have been transitioned into the Dome, a safe place of light. There are several known Parts outside the Dome, in the dark. Parts interact in groups or alone. Some help others with projects and daily care. Recently Suzie has experienced a great deal of stress and conflict. Parts have been moving back and forth between the Dome and darkness. There has been memory work and conflict resolution with C the therapist.

In addition, I have had conversations with several Parts who are upset with my writing. They feel exposed and compromised. In the past a well meaning professional reported the father's rape to the police. This was done after assuring Suzie he could be trusted with the truth, after all it couldn't be that bad could it? After learning it could be that bad, he did what was required by law. The exposure and resulting "he said" vs "she said" with the all male police was very traumatic to the System. The mother would not corroborate the abuse and the case was dropped for lack of evidence. As a result, "telling the truth" has been greatly feared and avoided at any cost. I was not aware of the full story and have promised to discuss my work with any Part I name in the future.

This week I was awakened by different Parts having difficulties. All of the Parts have been in the dome and alone. They wake me softly crying my name. One was separated and lost from the group, one had fallen in a hole, and one was stranded alone during a storm. In each case I ask the Part to identify herself and tell me her age. This allows me to know if we have a history. If I know the Part it is easier to help right away. I calm her, try to determine the problem and suggest a solution. If I do not know them, I need to establish rapport and trust, then use the same method to solve the problem. The Dome, like the human mind is capable of all things. One of it's amazing features is the Rope. The Rope can hold, protect and guide a Part. It also appears on demand. I reminded each Part this week about the Rope, I told them to sing out "Rope" and it appeared and then I urged the Part to tell the Rope what was needed, to guide them to the safe house, to pull them out of the hole or to take them to Grandma. As they were moving away, I reminded them I am here to help, to never be afraid to ask me for anything and that I love them. This kind of help and support is initially foreign to the Parts and they are often skeptical and afraid. I think the System has been so severely hurt and abused it is afraid to trust and afraid what is given may soon be withdrawn and replaced with abuse.

Imagine the effort it takes Suzie to live not only her life on the surface, but also the 20 or more lives inside. Each life is a separate entity unto itself, with different thoughts, experiences, and identity. They never sleep, they are only more or less active. They all may be talking and thinking at the same time, all expressing some thought, opinion or concern, all different. Imagine trying to make sense of the cacophony of sound and activity. Imagine trying to think something on your own, to move against the stream of consciousness. It overwhelms me.