DID: That Suzie Q

Last night as Suzie was making dinner I looked up and she had her arms wide like an airplane soaring around the kitchen. Catching her attention, I said Hi Suzie Q! I got a big smile and wave from a 5 year old. I asked if she was flying and got a yes, how did you know? Suddenly the oven timer rang she waved and was gone. Q is not allowed to use the oven.

Later in the evening Q popped out again, her mood started light talking about C the therapist's birthday and then sending me an email. Suddenly we were talking about a memory of visiting a counselor in first grade. She asked her teacher if she could talk to Klapp. She said he liked to do a trick with his hands, taking off his thumbs. Teacher arranged the meeting and Q tried to tell him what was going on at home. Back home she got in trouble with the mother. Klapp had called reporting nothing wrong and Q did not need to talk to him again. Miss Q went on to rant about stupid men and why did they not listen? I tried to reassure her C and I are here to help, I tried to get her to smile. We talked about my writing about her experience and she supports me letting people know how hard it is for Littles to protect themselves. Q went on to tell me she heard the older girls talking about troubles with boys and men. She concluded she did not want to grow up to marry a Prince anymore.

Suzie's Parts have been coming and going fast and furious with little notice or warning. One night while watching a mystery movie Libbie presented asking me if I liked seeing women get hurt? I tried to defend my love of mystery novels and movies, saying they were just stories. She said the ideas came from somewhere. I realized I did not have a leg to stand on! How could I watch a movie with assaults to women and decry violence? I am now looking closer at deeds and words.

Liza drove me home Thursday night. I did not even see the transition. She was upset with a comment I made to Suzie about "a half a$$job". Liza was justifiably pissed with me, but it is hard to have a personal argument with an angry stranger. We arrived home and she left the truck running telling me to get out, she was going for a drive. It was difficult, but I managed to get Suzie back and diffuse the situation. I had to repeatedly call her full name, asking to speak with her and Suzie finally came back to me. This is scary, I don't like confrontation and certainly try to avoid it with Suzie's Parts. Sometimes I am tempted to mask or hide my feelings and concerns. I probably need to edit what I say, but it would be wrong to hide my feelings. Parts need to know I am here to stay and sometimes things are not fine.

Parts have been reading my blog. Liza responded to a comment left by a reader. She asked the disarming and honest question of how a woman can live with a hurter? I do not have an answer.